George Carlin was one of the most influential stand-up comedians of all time. Widely known as “the dean of counterculture comedians,” he was also an actor, social critic and author.
1 The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept. -George Carlin
Sometimes you just want to feel validated. You like talking to yourself because you are tired of listening to others’ opinions and simply want to enjoy solitude.
2 Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? -George Carlin
People who are aggressive will get mad at every little thing. They are skeptical of others and believe that only they are right.
3 Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. – George Carlin
It is not unusual to find people blindly following the crowd. They forget to use their own brains and continue to do what everyone else’s is doing.
4 If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? -George Carlin
At times, we end up succeeding even after not working hard which leaves us confused. We are unable to understand if we really succeeded or not.
5 Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that. -George Carlin
Most people are so caught up in today’s hustle culture that they don’t care about the big questions of life. Even the most curious people gradually start losing interest in their surroundings.
6 I do this real moron thing, and it’s called thinking, and apparently I’m not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. -George Carlin
People who are not afraid to take a stand are usually seen as eccentric. They think independently and are not easily influenced by others.
7 Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty, I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be. -George Carlin
It’s all about how you perceive your surroundings. That’s what your reality depends on. Try to look at things differently and your life will change.
8 People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think. -George Carlin
Some people pretend to be indifferent because they don’t want others to think that they are worried about their opinions. In fact, they actually want others to believe that they don’t care, so they put up a front.
9 Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right, as soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established. -George Carlin
There are certain things that no matter how much you try to get rid of, they will always remain in your life. You need to learn to live with them because that’s how life is.
10 If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten. -George Carlin
You can’t keep on living like a doormat throughout your life. If you can’t confront your problems, you must find another way to overcome them.
11 When someone is impatient and says, ‘I haven’t got all day,’ I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day? -George Carlin
Everyone has time, it’s just that their priorities are different. People who are always in a hurry make others uncomfortable by being impatient.
12 When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle, I’m sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. -George Carlin
You get motivated to work hard when you want to obtain something that you really need in your life, and once you receive your reward, you find another thing to pursue.
13 There’s no present, there’s only the immediate future and the recent past. -George Carlin
With each passing second, we are moving into the future. There is no such thing as a present. When you realise that, you understand the value of time.
14 Always do whatever’s next. -George Carlin
Don’t look back. Ruminating will only prevent you from making progress. It’s always better to focus on what’s next, rather regretting your past actions.
14 Funniest George Carlin Quotes in 2020
1. The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept. -George Carlin
2. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? -George Carlin
3. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. – George Carlin
4. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? -George Carlin
5. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that. -George Carlin
6. I do this real moron thing, and it’s called thinking, and apparently I’m not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. -George Carlin
7. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty, I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be. -George Carlin
8. People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think. -George Carlin
9. Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right, as soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established. -George Carlin
10. If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten. -George Carlin
11. When someone is impatient and says, ‘I haven’t got all day,’ I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day? -George Carlin
12. When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle, I’m sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. -George Carlin
13. There’s no present, there’s only the immediate future and the recent past. -George Carlin
14. Always do whatever’s next. -George Carlin
